Last One Out: An Interview with a Late-Gen St. Catherine's Student

When St. Catherine's Indian School burned down in July, local media flooded with histories and reminiscences, both fond and troubled. It was one of those events in which people had to collectively confront their pasts and what they found there.

Cecilia Romero of Santa Fe was among the last students to attend St. Catherine's Indian School and she struggles to qualify her experiences there. Today, as she re-watches the television series "Roswell" (which features her old alma mater in some scenes), she reflected on her complicated relationship with the school, trying to parse out St. Cat's particular history with more familiar classroom traumas.

You were among the last students at St. Catherine's when it closed its doors in 1998. What was that experience like and how did you react to news the boarding school had burned down?

It's very complicated for me. I was an undiagnosed AUDHD (autism and ADHD) kid who wasn't quite native enough. My parents were my first bullies. So, when I got there, I was already vulnerable. It taught me about social hierarchy in a way I have never forgotten.

Students or staff?

Students. One teacher (who was) a parent of one of my classmates. It's probably not what you think. Sure, there was religious indoctrination blah blah blah, but all that paled in comparison. It was 1997, after all. The majority of my teachers were actually very nice. I never lived in the dorm, so I never got that experience. My cousin did prior to me and they loved it. 

You're saying it was religious but the freakier school pecking order was still in full effect?

Exactly. I knew people in my exact class who could probably tell you that they loved it there. So when I heard the building on the campus was on fire I was conflicted… 

It's a place you're glad you left, but on the other hand you probably wouldn't have burned it down yourself. 

Exactly. There's still some nostalgia left. 

What happened there in particular that made you feel like you were an outsider?

One kid in particular targeted me and kicked me in the back of the head. It doesn't get any clearer that I was an outsider. Later on he threw a volleyball at the back of my head. There was one (another) kid that was most targeted out of almost everyone. She was the ultimate scapegoat. I've been thinking a lot about her lately. It's one of my deepest regrets. 

Why do you think the other students picked on you? on her?

To keep the heat off themselves. The scapegoat. We were kids. I think we were all going through it in some way. 

Did any of the Catholicism stick with you?

That was a preexisting thing in my family, but I turned my back on it shortly after. I do, weirdly, like religious-based horror though. 

It also made me a theater kid. There was not much emphasis on that in the school, it was just a backdrop. 

The theatricality makes sense. 

It's all theater with Catholics.

What is your takeaway?

My takeaway from the whole experience there is that if a people are oppressed for long enough, sooner or later they will start oppressing each other.